I AM WORTHY
I’m fat. It’s not a judgment of my character, or a measurement of my value. It doesn’t insult or offend me. It’s just a fact. When I laugh so do my thighs, arms, and belly.
However, for twelve years, I believed the lies that Satan fed me about my body. I earnestly believed that my fat held me hostage. It was a barrier to being worthy, to being a real daughter of the King. I believed that if I never lost weight, then I wouldn’t be enough.
So, I fought hard to lose the weight. Never succeeding, but also never giving up. And, every New Year’s Eve resolving that that year would be my year. I would lose the weight and finally be worthy.
As the years and months scrolled by and December 2015 approached, I felt hopeless yet again. I believed still in my unworthiness. I was still fat and deeply ashamed of it. Searching for hope, I started talking with a counselor which led me to joining my bible study group, and receiving an eating disorder diagnosis and subsequently entering into my recovery process.
Over time, the lies slowly lost their power. In my recovery, studying His Word illuminated truth after truth after truth, and my shame slinked away. It couldn’t stand against the light of Christ.
Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said to the woman, "Indeed, has God said, 'You shall not eat from any tree of the garden'?" The woman said to the serpent, "From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat; but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, 'You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die.'" The serpent said to the woman, "You surely will not die! For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate.
Genesis 3:1-6 NASB
In Genesis 3, the serpent tricks Eve into eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. He deceives her. Until about 6 months ago, it never occurred to me that Satan lied to Eve.
From my perspective, I saw the blame fall on Eve because she had not been strong enough. Or, in other words, I had not been strong enough. I had led to my own downfall. My own sin. And, the pile of sin just kept growing. The pounds kept coming, and I was powerless to stop it.
Until, I realized that I had been lied to.
God never perceived me as less than because I weighed more than my friends. I am worthy, too.
Christ died for me just like he died for everyone else (Rom 1:16-17). God made me in His image just like everyone else (Gen 1:27). I am wonderfully made just like everyone else (Psa 139:14). His grace is for me just like everyone else (Eph 1:7-8).
I am worthy, too.
The same is true for you. You are worthy of the King. You are worthy of his love, adoration, attention, and care. Nothing about you stops Him from seeing you as worthy.
Nothing. You are worthy, too.
How do/will you live differently because you’re worthy? What lies have you believed? What is the truth?
By Erica Lee, Guest Writer
Photo Credit: Jamie Johnson Photography